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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed glossary to the words this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's response is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and often mundane repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {